#22 It is not someone else’s ‘job’ to make me happy. Or to make me ‘anything’ else for that matter.


#22 It is not someone else’s ‘job’ to make me happy. Or to make me anything else for that matter… (from) 49 Life Lessons it took me 50 years to learn

When I finally got this Life Lesson, my life began to look different, feel different and ultimately be different.

I know I say this a lot about these Life Lessons. But I guess that’s why they are my 49 Life Lessons and why it took me 50 years to learn them. It’s not like I woke up one day and went, oh yeah, I get it! You see, fundamentally, we ALL know this stuff. But it’s the ‘doing’ that creates change. And sometimes some knowledge we have carried around most of our life will be hammered home by something.  And then it becomes a ‘doing’ part of your life.

What I’ve come to know is that the knowledge (knowing) is already inside me and then one day, something happens, and BOOM, my knowledge gets transformed and becomes conscious actions (doing) and my life changes.  Notice all of this has nothing to do with my external world.  The power is 100% in my hands.  My happiness is 100% in my hands.

A few years ago, I came upon this quote. And it triggered some new thoughts which gave me access to some new actions.  I don’t know the author but whoever you are, thank you. It goes like this.

Why complicate life?

Missing somebody?…Call
Wanna meet up?…Invite
Wanna be understood?…Explain
Have questions?…Ask
Don’t like something?…Say it
Like something?…State it
Want something?…Ask for it
Love someone?…Tell it

You see our ‘happiness’ is not something that is only accessible as a result of someone else’s actions.  Don’t get me wrong, it’s awesome when someone does something and it fills up our hearts, but it is when we unconsciously slip into the expectation that this is the only way to be happy that this thing I call an ‘unhappiness’ void begins.  And then over time, the void grows and deepens when our addiction for getting that ‘happiness’ fix is not satisfied.  But you see, if we wait for someone else to do something to make us happy, what happens when they don’t?

We become sad.





What is at the absolute guts of this Life Lesson is this.  Happiness is not something that exists in the future. It is not external.  It is not something to wait for or hope for.  And it is not the responsibility of someone or something to give or do for you.  Happiness is an inside job.  It is available to all of us, every second of every day.

And it is 100% OUR responsibility to create it.


Whilst time (apparently) is infinite, the time we have on this planet is not.  So why are we wasting a second of it waiting… for happiness (a full and complete heart space) to arrive?

The awesome thing about happiness is this:

“If you are happy, happiness will come to you — because happiness wants to go where happiness is” — Yogi Bhajan

Jen x


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