#19 What People Think of Me Is None of My Business

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#19 What People Think of Me Is None of My Business (from) 49 Life Lessons it took me 50 years to learn

I first heard this phrase back in 2004. And as it turns out, I would hear it again in several other conversations with various people over the coming years.  It’s a very simple concept to understand but there is some practice to be done in order to truly apply it to your life.

So let’s break it down.

The opposite of this statement infers that you do care about what people think about you.  AKA (also known as) people pleaser syndrome.  Essentially what this means is that every decision, thought or action we take, hinges around the approval of other people in our life.

What if they think I’m rude.

What if they think I’m selfish.

What if they think I’m lazy.

What if they think I’m a bad person.

What if they think I’m stupid.

What if they think I’m mean.

What if… What if… What if!!!

The crazy thing about this is that we really have no idea what other people are thinking… and it’s none of our business either.

You see it doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks about us.  It ONLY matters what WE think about us.

So let me ask you another question.

What DO you think about YOU?

Next time you think or say ‘what will people think about me’ replace it immediately with ‘what do I think about me’.

The thing I know for sure is this.  Selling our souls in exchange for other people’s approval is a pathway to feeling not good enough for the rest of your life!

And on top of that, the authentic, beautiful, shining YOU will remain hidden from the world forever!

And the final kicker is that a peaceful heart will constantly elude you!

I promised a twist.

And it’s this.  The concept of what people think of you being none of your business is not in any way a ‘get out of jail free card’ for being a DICK.

What I mean is this.

When you ask yourself the question ‘what do I think about me’, be honest in your answer to yourself.

And I mean be really honest.

If you know you are a good person, own that shit! And give up worrying about what other people think of you. It’s none of your business!

But if you know you are being a DICK, stop it!

Because whilst what people THINK of you is none of your business, who you are being in this world, is your business and something YOU have complete control over.

Some of you might well be asking, ‘what’s the difference’?

It’s this.

At the end of the day, which if you are following my 49 Life Lessons you will know, the only thing you have control over are your THOUGHTS and your ACTIONS (Life Lesson #13). Acknowledge when you are being awesome, kind, caring and loving and do not seek approval from others to confirm or dispute this.  You know what’s in your heart. And do not question this.  Do not seek approval from others by worrying about what they think of you.  It only matters what you think of you! But you will also know (in your heart) if you are being a DICK. And if you are, STOP IT

Jen x

 

 

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